"Weakness" lightbulb going off...again.

I'm just over a week into my CPE Internship at UK Hospital. So far it's proving to be just as challenging and streatching as I expected. I've been assigned to cover two floors of the hosptial so I'm in the thick of it now. I'm learning my way of being a pastor to these people. Right now I'm in the phase of what I would call "conscious incompetance" meaning I'm very aware that most of the time I don't know what the heck I'm doing. So it's becoming a place where again I'm learning about living in Christ's power through my own weakness. Here's one I try to whisper to myself as I'm walking down the halls..."My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corn 12:9) I'm finding this experience to be just another leg in the journey of weakenss that God has led me on for the last three years. "Weakness?" you say. "What the heck are you talking about Josh...Weakness? You are suppost to be strong, to pick yourself up, have a good attitude, be positive and get out there and do some good!" But the problem is that with all this kinda stuff at best I may just be able to make a few people feel good for a while. It is only Christ who can radically transform and heal body and soul. It is only Christ that can bring someone through a journey so that they can say words like, "My trial with Cancer has been on the greatest posessions of my life". And as for me being an agent for Christ to the world...that only comes when I digress. When I embrace my weakness and cry out to Jesus for his power and strength with every breath. But when I get to the place where I think, "OK, I got it now...I know what I'm doing here" (and unfortunately I do think this sometimes) then I'm on the road to death. Wow...backwards from what the world teaches us huh. Now it makes sense why Paul says crazy stuff like, "I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."