Post Hebrew Date turns into almost DUI

Yesterday I turned in my final project for the Hebrew intensive course I took this month. Since then I've been trying to catch up on life, spending time with Leslie and the kids. So tonight Leslie and I went out on a date...I mean babysitter and everything...first one in months. It was a nice dinner at Abuelo's (our favorite) and then a few hours of mindless reading and browsing at Joseph Beth Bookstore. A nice sober evening. But the officer behind me on the way home did not think so. About half way home from Lexington the red and blue lights came out of nowhere. So I veered over and waited...Leslie and I both wondering what I did. Here's how the rest plays out:

Officer: Good Evening Sir, License and proof of insurance please?
I dig it out and give it to him.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
J: To be perfectly honest, I have no idea why you pulled me over.
Officer: Well you veered over the middle line 3 times over the last mile.
J: Really? I didn't even realize it.
Officer: Sir where are you coming from?
J: Lexington.
Officer: I mean where have you been this evening?
J: I'm just coming from Barnes & Noble...Oh, I mean Joseph Beth (Leslie helped with correction.)
Officer: Sir have you had any alcohol to drink tonight?
OK, here's where things go south. Those of you who know me well know that I have a little problem. When people ask me a question of accusation or bring up a serious topic I sometimes take on an uncontrollable grin, making me look like I'm guilty when I'm totally not. And that is what happened here. I began to laugh and grin...just because I thought it was hilarious what was happening. But the problem was that this officer didn't know me and he didn't seem to think this was funny.
J: Sir, I can assure you I have not had any alcohol to drink tonight (trying to hold back grin at this point but not working very well).
Officer: long pause..."Wait here in your car while I go and check your record"
We wait in expectation...half nervous, half laughing at the situation until he returns.
Officer: So have you had any alcohol to drink tonight?
J: Officer, I had 2 glasses of water and then a cup of coffee. That's it.
Officer: Are you on any medications?
J: No but I took some tylenol this morning.
Officer: So are you sure you have not had any alcohol?
Ok, enough...it was time to bring out the big guns...didn't want to do it but I felt it I had no choice but to play the seminary card.
J: Sir, I'm live in Wilmore and attend the Seminary there...I have not had anything to drink in over 3 years.
Didn't work.
Officer: So you would not mind stepping out of the vehicle and taking a test with me would you.
J: No Sir.
Officer: Step out of the vehicle and come with me.

I then get out and walk back to the front of his car. Mind you we are on the side of Nicholasville Road in front of Lowes with traffic wizzing by. He then begins what I call the "tricky finger test". I have to stand there with my feet together and head perfectly still while he moves his finger from right to left in front of me...with his flashlight shining in my eyes. I HAVE NEVER STARRED AT A FINGER SO HARD IN ALL OF MY LIFE! Plus it was about 19 degrees out with light freezing rain. This went on for about 5 minutes. Then he switched things up on me and started moving his finger up and down. My head was like a statue but my eyes were glued on that finger. I started to think he was setting me up or something. Finally he said "OK, I'm going to turn you loose. You could not have done that if you had been drinking". I then explained to him that the truck I was driving was new to me and not as tight as the Honda Accord I was used to...so maybe that is why I was a little swirvy. He didn't seem real interested and just told me to be careful. A close one...no ticket or anything. Will never forget this date.

So yes, I survived Hebrew and intense interrogation in the freezing rain. I am blessed!

Old Testament Hebrew, A Lesson in Community

So this month I'm in an intensive class, Old Testament Hebrew, where we do a full semester of material in about 4 weeks. It is by far the most consuming class I have yet to take. On the first day our professor said that within a week we would be dreaming in Hebrew. I'm not quite there yet with this but I have been waking up with vocabulary lists running through my head. It is quite a consuming deal and you truly have to become totally emersed in this class to survive. So to get by a few of us students decided to start a little study group. Class is from 8:30 to 11:15, we then meet from 1 to about 6pm...head home for dinner and usually return until we are kicked out at the library at 11:00pm...sometimes then heading to someone's house.

Years from now I will probably not remember that the sheva is silent when following a long vowel or that vowel-less postvocalic nuns assimilate but I will remember our little study group, tucked away in a room on the top floor of the library. I'll remember how we ate leftover Christmas candy and boy scout carmel corn. I'll remember how we got snippy with eachother a few times under the stress. I'll remember how one friend shared some burdens of his heart with us and our prayer before we studeid. I'll remember the preposition "neged" which translated in English means "in front of" (get creative and guess at how we remembered this one). I'll remember how we spoke words of encouragement to one another at midnight. I'll remember how we solved the problems of the United Methodist Church. And I'll remember how we journeyed together and loved one another through a strenuous time. This group has made it all fun and somewhat tollerable...and I have TWO MORE WEEKS OF IT!!! Yikes. Maybe I'm remenissing too early.

That's it for now...Shalom.