The Yoke of Perfection
I'm in the heat of the end of the semester (although the actual temperature this morning when I woke up was 12 degrees). But you know what I mean...things are getting crazy about right now. Group presentations...final projects...and a comprehensive short answer exam staring me in the face. And in the middle of all this I'm hit with the thought of carrying the yoke of perfection. It is real heavy around here sometimes...trying to make good grades and all. Sometimes we soften the language for it and call it "excellence" to make ourselves feel better. But I'm realizing that when we, or I should say, when I carry this yoke of perfection, I loose FORMATION. I'm so wrapped up in doing things right to get a good grade that I loose the ability to let the assignment form me. Case in point: I'm working on a "Personal Spiritual Development Analysis" that looks at my 31 years of life and process how God has intervened at certain points. Well I have spent about two hours this afternoon looking through books and examples of other assessments tryring to figure out how to make this assignment look good on paper so that I will get a good grade. By God's grace giving me this reflection, I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air and say, "OK, I don't care what grade I get on this...what I really want is to allow this assignment to form me more into the likeness of Jesus Christ." To get rid of my own agenda and just be along for the ride on this project.
So that's it. I really have nothing else to say about this right now. Anybody else (of the 5 people that read my blog) feel this yoke of perfection??
So that's it. I really have nothing else to say about this right now. Anybody else (of the 5 people that read my blog) feel this yoke of perfection??
5 Comments:
josh-- world wide reader #6 here. i get you here. ask me to tell you my story about grades and seminary sometime if i haven't already. i had a deep conversion on the issue.
I remember you telling some of this before. I like the idea of not knowing my grades as I go through this program.
...reader number seven, engaging you here. I haven't found that balance either. I still am engaging in the Jacobian wresting match that is me versus the institution. Perhaps I'm a few crests behind your wake.
I do hear your struggle here. My dad would simply say "you get out of life what you put into it." I think Jesus says "what you pray for, you will receive."
I don't know what the grade will be with your prof. but I can only imagine that your efforts mimic your heart...and that's perfection!
First, let me say thanks! I feel as though I've been in a worship service or sitting, listening to someone share a moment of their devotional life each time I read your blog. Stay strong and push on!
Second, as one who's quickly moving towards the exit, I can truly relate to what you are sharing. There have been times when I felt as though I hadn't given my best (in the eyes of academic achievements) but then I look at the smiling faces of my growing boys as I help them with a project or in giving them a hand in finding the answer to some "earth-shattering" problem. It's also in the eyes of Jennie when I take time to help her wash the dishes or when I clean the house in the midst of an exegetical assignment. What I'm seeing is the A+ of what it's all about.... Does this make any sense?
Continue to care for yourself and your family, stay in the Word, and if you've got time... LOL... do a little homework.
Peace
Hello Josh, this is JC's buddy Carl. I just wanted to say hello, and let you know that I have your family in my prayers today. I think you have my email address from yesterday. Stay in touch and let me know how you and L. are getting along.
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